I have always said that my babies will never hear me utter the words “you are no longer my child.” I will love them through anything that makes them, them.
If my j falls in love with a man, I will happily call that man my son in law and treat him to the same standard of treatment my son would deserve from a woman as well.
if my baby girl came to me and said “mama, my husband and i have decided to live as a polyamorous couple.” I would smile, kiss that forehead and tell her that I will love anyone she loves as long as they are good to her.
If either of them came to me and said “mum. Idont feel like im me in this body. I want to explore hormone treatments and therapies.” I would go into the counselor with them, sit with them when the hormones had any undesirable side effects, and love them just the same after the surgery was over.
and this isnt an agenda. it isnt political or rooted in anything other than love.
I held these babies in my arms after yearning for them for so long, and i promised them that i would be there for them through anything, do everything to make them happy and loved, and there is no no way that I could do anything other than just that. I love who they are and that includes EVERYTHING. I love that my julian doesnt like meat loaf. I love that Narae climbs onto everything. I love that they love each other and genuinely enjoy each others company. I love that Julian dances to everything and loves to draw and is atrracted to hip hop. I love that Im seeing personalities forming that are just who they are and arent influenced by me. and I will love learning who and how they love, the nice things they do, where they met and what their dreams are. its a part of them and i will love it. When i imagine Narae sitting on the end of the bed painting toenails with me and talking about life and who she has feelings for, gender doesnt play a role. When I imagine julian telling me he is going to propose, i dont have any preconceived notions. Im just here for them. i love them. be it polyamory or plural marriage or homosexuality or heterosexuality. be it gender reassignment or polyfidelity or crossdressing. it just doesnt matter because it doesnt change what they are to me. they are my heart. they are my HEART.
The following I wrote on the blog I keep for my son on National Coming Out Day of 2011:
“I wrote this on a page for acceptance of homosexuals.
This is honestly how I feel.
‘I was thinking today,”national coming out day”, that if my son or daughter ever came to me to come out, the only tears id cry would be tears of happinesss that I was a good enough mother that they knew they could tell me anything without judgement or sadness and that I would share in their everything, same as I would if they “came out” that they were straight. It would change nothing of my love for them. And I hope, when that day comes, that it be legal that they can marry the man or woman of their dreams 🙂 as long as you are good to those you love, and even those you don’t…you’ll never disappoint me (or the lord) babies. let no one tell you otherwise 🙂 Love you!’
You are not defined to me by the person you fall in love with babies. You, to me, are my baby. You are the one I give my heart to and set an example for. If you ever need to tell me anything at all about feelings in your heart never hesitate! I will not “tolerate” you. I will embrace you! You will always be my babies as long as you give love freely and responsibly and treat others well. Be safe, be smart, and know I’m here for you. “